Unresolved grief in the face of death is a silent killer and should not be taken lightly. It is unimaginable to think of someone we love dying. It's like stepping into a dense fog where there is no direction, you're just out there. Grief will flood a person with questions, questions that may not get answers as quick as we would like, or never at all. Survivors of death pile a lot of thought and emotion on their plate as they attempt to chew on and contemplate their sadness, loss, and uncertainty. Grief can only be swallowed with patience, love and acceptance.
Some points to ponder - there is no time limit to grieving, take whatever time you need, if someone tells you, "you should be over this by now", understand that they have no clue what you are feeling. With grief nobody can FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL, it’s best not to think they can. When death’s around, people will say and do things they normally would not do or say because they feel awkward about using any part of using the “D” word for fear they will say something that is perceived as hurtful or insensitive. Everybody needs to exercise patience with each other throughout this stormy period, eventually the sun will shine again. Grieving well requires self-love and nurturing however long it takes.
Most of the time it is best when talking with a grieving person to let them talk about their loss whenever they want. Let them repeat their story as many times as necessary, be an active listener instead of an active fixer. People need to navigate through their grief experiences on their own terms. Providing a safe place for conversation to flow is critical in order to achieve acceptance that CHANGE happens to us all.
Take care and grieve well my friends.