The Dark Side of Sod


Know the Drill

May 5, 2019

The following statement is legit; "Having a death plan of action in place is THE BEST form of defense against helplessness when death occurs". But let’s just say for the sake of conversation, there is no plan. If you are the responsible party there is always the nagging question,“Am I doing the right thing, is this what he/she would have wanted?” And this question remains the same regardless of how the death occurred and to whom. Ultimately, we want to make decisions that will result in the best interest of all parties; the person, who died and their surviving family members and close friends. There are steps in our end of life process that must be addressed sooner than later. Funeral homes are one of those steps because there is no getting around it; something HAS to be done with the RIP body.

Not wanting to deal with death in advance ALWAYS puts bereaved survivors in a compromising position. If you have dealt with death first hand you already “know the drill” about the funerary process our American way of dying bestows upon us. But if you don’t know the drill then you will more than likely you will walk into a funeral home in what I refer to as “the death zone” it is a place we go to mentally that is unlike any other; we are emotional and terrified by change, exhausted, confused, concerned; so many unanswered questions. We understand that this meeting at the funeral home will result in a financial transaction that may or may not be obtainable. We have no idea about how much money will be needed or when the money will be needed. We’ve just heard from others that “it’s expensive”, and that’s unnerving.  Not having resources readily available will compound the stress experienced because with the majority of funeral homes, the funeral home bill MUST be paid before their services are rendered.

It’s true that there are people who cannot remember the funeral details within weeks/months following death.  Yet those decisions were made at that time with such great certainty, we never considered the fact that down the road looking back, it was more than likely impulsive emotion that guided those decisions.

Know the drill and be ready!!


Julie Pope